No Excuses

Nothing of Non-Nutritional Value

2009-11-16T12:00:00.000-08:00

My goal today is to eat only healthy things. Anything without any nutritional value will not be consumed by moi. My day so far: banana and almonds for breakfast, salad with raspberry vinaigrette and chicken noodle soup for lunch.

Hooray, healthy.

Watchin' Those Calories

2009-11-12T13:56:00.001-08:00

Today's goal: stay under 1600 calories. Total so far is about 900.

Oh, and I had a small handful of candy corn and was about to take it to my desk to eat. I put the freaking candy back and walked away with a granola bar. High five!

Daily Goals

2009-11-11T10:41:00.000-08:00

I've decided I'm going to tackle this weight issue one goal at a time. Small goals geared toward a healthy day.

Today's goal: no sugary treats.
So all of that God-forsaken Halloween candy that calls my name each and every day (especially the 75%-off carton of candy corn I brought in to work...high five for Becky) will be ignored today. Curse you, sweets, treats and amazingly scrumptious goodies. Today, I will dominate my cravings for you.*

*Please let it be noted that I mean no offense to sweets, treats or amazingly scrumptious goodies as they are all fine foods that make my taste buds happy.

Losing Weight for a Cause

2009-11-09T10:39:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, my mom-in-law was taken at the age of 57 from Young Onset Alzheimer's Disease. Those of you not familiar with this specific version of the disease, it affects people pre-60's (as young as their 30's) and progresses much more rapidly and violently than typical Alzheimer's. Kevin and I watched this disease rob our mom of her life. She was supposed to enjoy the second half of her life, spend time with family, play with the grandkids she loved so dearly. All of that was taken from her by this horrid, horrid disease.

While Kevin and I assumed some caregiver responsibilities, our dad was the one who took the brunt of the work. Stress, financial strain, and losing his wife was more than anyone should ever have to bear. That's why Kevin started the Sharon Antcliff Foundation. A foundation dedicated to helping the caregivers of Young Onset Alzheimer's Disease.

As a way of raising funds for this organization, Kevin and I have decided to partake in "Getting Fit for the Fight." We encourage people to not only pledge at least 50 cents for every pound we lose, but to get involved themselves. It's total motivation to get back in shape, and 100% of the money raised goes to the Sharon Antcliff Foundation where it can be used to raise awareness and help families in need.

Being Sick Rocks

2009-10-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so a week-long bout of flu-like symptoms helped me shed 5 pounds. Yay for me! I've been eating way less and somewhat healthier, too. Again, yay for me.

On a side note: Halloween sucks. All the associated food with absolutely no nutritional value is weighing on my will power. Blast you, Halloween!

Moving Along

2009-10-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

I weighed in yesterday. 201.0. This is after two days of a fairly clean diet. That God-awful picture in my previous post is serving as a great reminder. I bypassed pieces of cake, ice-cream and that extra helping after thinking about that picture. So I guess that's good.

I'm entertaining the thought of not weighing in again for another two weeks or so, but strictly focusing on my exercise and caloric intake. This is not to avoid the consequences of bad decisions. Quite the opposite, actually. It's so I'm not discouraged when the weight is stagnant or become lax when the weight goes down.

Guess we'll see what happens.

Pig Out

2009-09-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

So we had our daughter's birthday party this weekend. Instead of pizza, I decided to go with a buffet-style spread. Meatballs, pigs in a blanket, turkey rollups, and a bunch of other stuff that was not conducive to a healthy lifestyle.

I ate like a pig, and I'm horribly ashamed! Today is a new day, though. So far, I've already made good decisions. I didn't grab a handful of candy on the way out the door. I didn't eat a junky breakfast. Instead, I had a fruit and cream whey protein shake. I also brought in a TON of veggies into work. So there's that for snacks instead of the unhealthy trail mix or milk chocolate-covered alternatives. I also opted for green tea instead of coffee.

It's the little decisions.

Here's to a healthy today.

I'll Make It Quick

2009-09-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

Yyyeah. Haven't posted in awhile. About that...

Busy. As. Hell.

Bad news: I haven't lost any weight.

Good news: I haven't gained any weight.

I'm really feeling the urge to amp my active lifestyle. Right now, I work out in the mornings - the only time I have to myself. I'm going to start incorporating small things back into my routine. Take the dog for a walk. Go for a walk at lunch (assuming I actually get one). Do active outdoor activities on the weekends. And so on.

Ok, it's late and I'm insanely tired. Later, peeps.

Rays of Sunshine

2009-08-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, so yeah. Last post was a little depressing. Again, sorry about that. I've made some progress since the last blog.

A few things came to a head at work and I had to stand up for myself. I think I gained some respect without losing a friendship. I'm thankful for that.

Financially, we're still in the same rut. Thankfully, we're surrounded by forgiving, understanding and compassionate people.

In relation to the financial thing, I'm working on starting my own design/creative company. I've got a decent client base from freelancing, but I'm going to take it slow and make sure I take the appropriate steps to get everything set up right. I can't risk the...well, risk...at this point, but I need to take action if I'm going to better my situation.

On the weight-loss front, I've been powering through my urges to not work out. HIIT on M/W/F and strength training on T/Th. We were going to go hiking again last night for Rock the Bells (Busta, Charlie 2NA, K'Naan, and other awesome artists), but we had more rain. Ugh. Tuesday is Judas Priest and Whitesnake. Hopefully we can get a dry hike out of that. I'm also adjusting my diet. I'm doing the taper approach. I eat most of my calories (and carbs) in the morning, then taper off toward the end of the day. So far, I'm seeing positive results. I've been going over my calories, but I'm still seeing the weight go down. I'll take it.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Out of Control

2009-08-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

My life feels like it's out of control right now. I work my ass off and see absolutely no benefits of my efforts. Everything is chaotic right now and all I want to do is walk away. I won't go into the depressing details, but I'll sum it up with this: in addition to the weight loss battle, I'm fighting seemingly every battle out there. Finances, disrespect, feelings of insignificance and worthlessness, job stress, no time, no sleep, no energy, no faith...the list goes on.

I feel like I've bent so far that now I'm beginning to crack.

I'm going to try to use these feelings as fuel.

Sorry for the depressing post. I just need to vent.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

2009-07-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

Ugh. It's been raining so much here in Colorado I'm beginning to wonder if we ever left Michigan! We were going to hike up and watch the Counting Crows last night, but there was a downpour just prior to the concert. After "climbing" maybe 20 feet up the trail, then slipping and falling into the mud, we decided it probably wouldn't be the wisest idea to try to come DOWN in this stuff in the dark. So we ditched the concert.

Gotta say, I was pretty upset about that. I was looking forward to that one.

Oh well. Life's a bitch, I guess.

More Goals and Stuff

2009-07-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

So Wednesday, we hike again. This time: Counting Crows and Michael Franti. Good stuff! I've got a pair of capris I need to squeeze my fat ass into by then, so the days leading up to the hike will be super clean. Hooray for clean eating and stuff.

Have a great weekend, Bloglanders.

Heart. Journey. Hike.

2009-07-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

First of all, today was a new low. 198.2. So yay for that.

Last night, Journey and Heart was playing at Red Rocks, so my friend and I hiked up and watched the concert. Good hike. Good music. Good times.

Renewed Energy

2009-07-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today was Day 1 of my new workout plan. I was actually looking forward to my workout this morning!! Wow, that was refreshing. I did HIIT on the treadmill today. Here's how it went down:

2:00 Warmup
0:30 @ 8.0mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 8.5mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 9.0mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 9.5mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 10.0mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 10.5mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 10.5mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 11.0mph, 0:90 rest
0:30 @ 11.0mph, 0:90 rest

At first, I was regretting my workout. It didn't feel intense enough, and I felt like it was becoming a waste of time. Once I hit the 4th or 5th interval, though, the regret went away. I still feel like 20 minutes of cardio isn't nearly enough, but I guess that will be true only if I'm not seeing results.

Change of Plans

2009-07-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

Life has been hell lately, and the stress of training for a half is killing me. Lame, I know. But I've got to do what's best for me and my mind and body, so I'm taking a break from training. I'm going to find a half next year and train for that when I'm in a better spot.

Right now, I'm going to focus on high-intensity interval training and strength training. I will also incorporate biking, hiking, basketball and other active sports into my life until the snow and cold stops me.

This is not me giving up. It's me putting running aside for now until I can devote the time and focus to it that it requires.

Burnout

2009-07-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

My hate for running is beginning to outweigh my love for it. This isn't good. So I think some adjustments are in order. I don't think I'm going to run the Denver Half on October 18. I'll get no rest between my 6K training and my half training and I'm completely headed for burnout.

Problem is, I can't find any races until next year.

Argh! I'm torn. I feel like I'm making excuses. At the same time, I feel like I'm going to ruin running for me.

I dunno. I'll think this over some more. I'm sitting this week out for running. I'm still doing strength training and I'll likely bike once or twice this week.

Ugh. Just...ugh.

Back Up, But Not Worried

2009-07-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm back up to 201 today. I'm not worried, though, because it's all carbs and sodium. Today will be super clean and I'll be back down tomorrow. No worries.

I need to run tonight. I was dreading my run this morning because it's 40 minutes of running, a one-minute walk, then another 20 minutes of running. For whatever reason, that is intimidating the hell out of me. I can't get past this damn block. Yeah, I used to run 8 miles at least twice a week (and 6 miles the other 2-3 days). But for whatever reason, I'm hung up on failing miserably last week, then burning out on Saturday and being sick to my stomach from pushing myself so hard.

I think I need to take my runs back outside. And I need to do it on busy streets like I used to. The traffic is not only a good distraction, but for some strange reason, it holds me accountable. Like, if they see me stop running, then they see me as a failure. Hey, don't question what works, I guess. The other thing that helps is having to stop for lights. It's a nice break, but it's limited to usually a minute or less.

So I dunno. I really need to get past this block because I'm beginning to question my ability to complete a half marathon. I feel like I have to do this - I was deprived of competition as a kid, never got to play organized sports or anything like that. But I'm beginning to doubt if I'm cut out for distance running. Anyone can do it, right? It just takes dedication and passion, right?

Bullseye!

2009-07-12T07:54:00.000-07:00

New Low: 198.8!!!

Woo freaking awesome.

Sweet

2009-07-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

New low: 200

Considering my night out last night - three drinks, a handful of fried okra and a sub sandwich at 11:00 - I'm insanely stoked. That said, today's going to be 100% clean. I've got to be sub-200 tomorrow. There's no room for error today.

Still Down

2009-07-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

New low: 200.4!

Suhwheet.

Going Down

2009-07-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

Weight: 202.0

GREAT freaking run today. Reflecting on my sloppy run on Monday really fueled me today. Granted, I only did 40 minutes instead of an hour. But still. I got tired, I didn't quit. In fact, I was screaming at myself (internally, of course) to keep going. I was actually getting pissed that the thought of quitting entered my brain. So it was a very energized workout. Good times.

Short and Sweet

2009-07-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Weight was back "up" from yesterday (from the post-run weight). 204.2ish. I was in a hurry...all I remember is 204. Anyway, today was a day from hell at work, but I was so busy pulling miracles out of my ass that I didn't have time to think about food. I ate before my workout, had an awesome workout, worked like mad, had a little sushi for lunch, worked like mad, then had a good dinner.

So we'll see where that puts me in the morning. I just hope all the stress doesn't cause me to hold onto weight. Ugh.

Hmph!

2009-07-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

What the hell? I can't get my ass out of the 200's. My weight this morning: 205.2. My weight this morning after a very sloppy run: 203.8.

Either way, there's still a big, fat two in front of the number.

My body is so unforgiving. I didn't go over my calories this weekend. However, a good percentage of my calories were carb-heavy. And that screwed me over.

Oh, and my run today. Yeah. I let my stupid body win. My training called for two 30-minute intervals with a minute rest in between. The first 30 minutes were awesome. I didn't let my body tell me how tired I was - I told my body to keep running. Then the rest came. One minute turned into two turned into four. When I started running again, my legs felt like jello and I let my mind focus on that. Grr! I could've run the full 30 with no rests if I had just shifted my focus. But I didn't. So the last 30 minutes consisted of two one-minute rests and a 2-3ish-minute rest. I could've run the full 30. Then instead of running 5.8mph the entire 30, I fluxuated between 5.4 and 5.8. I let my body win.

So here we go again. 199.8 by Sunday. 4 pounds in 6 days. Seriously. It shouldn't be this hard!

So Close Yet So Far Away

2009-07-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

Weigh-in today: 201.8

What's beyond disgusting is that that was my weigh-in after several drinks and three Fiber One bars last night (hey, it was a better craving than pizza!).

I honestly don't know if not consuming that stuff would've put me under 200. I just don't know.

So modified goal: 199.8 by Monday.

Next goal: fit into a pair of L capris by July 29th. I'm hiking up Red Rocks with a friend for a concert and I need something to wear. So instead of going out and buying new stuff, I'm going to fit into the stuff I already have. Ok? Ok.

Argh

2009-07-02T08:13:00.000-07:00

So my weight this morning: 203.0.

Argh.

It's still a new low, so yay for that. But the chances of me getting below 200...TOMORROW...are nearly impossible. I've seen stranger things happen, so I'm not completely discrediting the possibility.

I dunno. I'm just frustrated. But whatever. I'm by no means quitting. I'll get under 200 someday. Maybe it's all the mass amounts of muscle I've put on. Sure. That's got to be it.

Still Going Strong

2009-07-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

New low: 203.2

So what does that put me at? 3.4 pounds in two days. I can do this. It's a tough reach, yes. But I'm going to do this because I'm a rockstar. (Not really. I'm actually a graphic designer and can't sing to save my life. But whatever.)

Weight Loss in Progress

2009-06-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

New low today: 204.2. Sweet.

As cool as that is and all, I've got 4 days to lose 4.4 pounds. Can I do it? You bet your ass I can.

So here's a summary of my last several days:

Saturday
5 min run, 1 min walk x 7

Sunday
Off

Monday
10 min run, 1 min walk, 20 min run, 1 min walk, 15 min run, 1 min walk, 10 min run, 1 min walk.

Tuesday
Pushups (15x3)

Front shoulder raise in lunge position (10# each arm, 10/leg x 3)

That one exercise where you grab a weight plate with both hands and bring it up to your chin (45#, 10x3)

That one exercise you do with kettlebells where you start with the weight on the floor and swing it above your head (except I used a dumbbell) (25#, 20x3)

Curls (20# each arm, 10/arm x3)

Tricep presses (20x3)

Lunges (50)

Plank twists (25/leg)

Bent over rows (35#/arm, 10x3)

Oh, and with the exception of "healthy" Chinese on Sunday, Kevin and I have been kicking our diets' asses.

Stuck

2009-06-26T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I've been training for a 10K for about two months now. It's going well and all, but I was hoping that by doing so, I would get below 200. I'm stuck between 203 and 208 (depending, of course, on what I ate the day before). Talk about frustrating!

So here's the deal. I'm going to get out of the 200's this week. By Friday, July 3rd, I'm going to be 199.8 or less.

Oh, and I'm going to blog a hell of a lot more than I have been.

Sore In All the Right Places

2009-02-26T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've been mixing up my workouts for a couple weeks now and I haven't done the same workout once. I've done a few of the same exercises within my workout (circuits), but I'm always mixing it up. Not only do I actually look forward to my workouts now, but I'm constantly sore. It's annoying but super-cool at the same time.

Diet's been better. Haven't weighed myself in awhile...I've actually been in such a hurry to get to work early to work out that I haven't taken the extra 15 seconds to stand on the scale. I know. Stupid.

I started HIIT this morning. With my limited time, that's going to be perfect. I plan on doing that on Tuesdays and Thursdays with Monday/Wednesday/Friday being my weight training days.

Ok, I've already spent way too much time blogging. There's a ton to catch up on.

Later!

Quick Update

2009-02-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

I just realized it's been a few days since I've blogged, so I wanted to give you a quick-hit list of what's been going on...

- I near 199, and my body fights me tooth and nail to make sure I get as far away from that number as possible. I hate my body! Most of the weight is retained water from a mixture of weight training, sodium and carbs. I'm watching the diet this week.

- I've only missed one day of workouts since I started. I've been changing it up and haven't done the same workout twice. That's actually refreshing.

- The diet hasn't been great. At all. But today was awesome...wouldn't be surprised if I dropped 3-4 pounds overnight. We'll see.

- Sassy Water is awesome. Steep cucumber slices, lemon slices, grated ginger and mint leaves in water overnight and drink the liquid the next day. Very refreshing...and it's supposed to flush out the toxins in your body quicker than water.

Ok, that's it. I'm off to bed. The 13 hours of work today are getting to me. G'night.

New Low!

2009-02-14T08:13:00.000-08:00

202.8!

Stronger

2009-02-13T17:46:00.000-08:00

So I know it's only been a week, but I'm already starting to see definition in my legs. Though my arms are stronger, I'm not seeing it because of all the fat. Damn cheeseburgers went straight to my arms. And stomach. And hips. And thighs.

Anyway...

Short thought long, I'm starting to feel strong again. I'm super excited about that. It's totally motivational.

My workout today didn't seem as intense, but I know I'll feel it in the morning.

Side Lunges: 3 x 10 each leg, 8# each arm
Seated Leg Tucks (abs): 3 x 15
Rotating Lateral Raise: 3 x 10, 8# each arm
Raise the Roof (squat + military press): 3 x 10, 8#
Dumbbell Bent-Over Rows: 3 x 10, 20# each arm

Ok, gotta go make dinner. Have a great weekend, folks!

Movin' Along

2009-02-11T08:10:00.000-08:00

So I was back at the strength training today. I'm trying a new method: constantly change up my routine. That seems to be a popular thing to do, so why not? Here's what I did today:

Deadlifts: 3 x 10, 40#
Plank n' Row (plank position, while rowing with alternate arms): 3 x 10, 15# each arm
Lawn Mower: 3 x 10, 20# each arm
Shuffles (with arms extended, holding weights): 3 x ~20ft, 8# each arm
Single-Legged Calf Raises: 3 x 20
Leg Raises: 3 x 15

The Shuffles and Plank n' Rows left me super tired, so that's cool. I felt like today was a good workout.

I'm running out of exercises, so I'd love to hear suggestions on what to do. Keep in mind, I'm limited to a weight bench (incline only), weights and a crap-load of space (about 100+ yards of open floor). I want to do total body each time, so I've been doing stuff that works a little bit of everything.

Blogging Blows

2009-02-09T21:35:00.001-08:00

Kidding. What blows is having every intention of blogging, then having Blogger not work. Awesome.

Anyway, my eating since the move hasn't been wonderful. It hasn't been horrible, but not great. Mainly a little on the carb-heavy side. This week, however, I've started exercising officially, which in turn, fuels my motivation to eat clean(er).

So today, I started the morning with the following strength routine:

Pushups: 3 x 10
Lunges: 3 x 10/each leg (with 8# dumbbells in each hand)
Curls: 3 x 10 (15# each arm)
Squats/Arm Raises: 3 x 10 (8# each arm)
Chest Flies (or whatever they're called): 3 x 10 (15# each arm)
Situps: 3 x 10

With the exception of Chinese tonight (in moderation), I ate perfectly today.

Oh, and on a side note, I'm really beginning to like Mix1's. Nine servings of fruits and veggies in on bottle. Can't beat that. Well, I guess you could eat 10 servings of fruits and veggies. But you get my point. You can taste the healthy, but it's not bad considering how good it is for you.

So that's the update. Wooo.

Moving Blows

2009-02-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

So we're finally back in Colorado. It's incredibly awesome to be back home. The move itself sucked. We drove nearly 22 hours (and the absolute worst part of that was driving through Nebraska...during the day!) and had nothing but carb-heavy and not-the-least-bit-healthy snack foods to keep us going. It was a care package, and a very thoughtful gesture, but it wasn't conducive to a healthy lifestyle.

Then when we got out here, we had no food and lots of people to feed, so the most logical and cost-effective option was pizza. Healthy.

So it begins again. Tomorrow I start the job officially and start having a schedule again. Our community has a free gym membership, plus I have one at my work, so there's absolutely no reason I can't work out. We're going to go shopping either today or tomorrow and start flooding the fridge with healthy foods again. Thank God!!!

I'm excited about getting back at this. I feel like utter crap because of all the crap I've put in my body. I can't wait to start living healthy again.

Lovely Day

2009-01-26T18:39:00.000-08:00

The foods I ate weren't the all-time best I could get, but I stayed well within my calories today with not-bad foods. Here's what my day looked like:

Breakfast
Cinnamon waffles with butter (unsalted...because THAT makes butter okay) and sugar-free syrup

Lunch
Skipped because I would have been late for a meeting

Dinner
Hamburger on whole wheat with veggies and light mayo, cheddar/broccoli rice

Snack
2 No Sugar Added Fudgsicles

Lord knows if I spelled Fudgsicle right. It always takes me like three tries before Calorie-Count can even guess what I'm trying to say.

Anyway, like I said, not 100%, but not bad by any means.

Consequences of Not Counting

2009-01-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

So I didn't count calories today. Part of it was not thinking about it. Hell, I haven't counted calories in what? At least four months now? Packing played a major role in my not doing so. We're coming up on crunch time and I'm feeling the pressure.

Anyway, basically, I didn't count calories today until it was too late. I added up everything I ate on CalorieCount.com and I ended up at about 2,100. The screwed up thing is that I would have been fine had I not devoured a couple Clif bars late in the day. Argh.

Oh well. I'm done for the night food-wise, so we'll see how bad of an impact it has on my weight tomorrow.

G'night.

Looking Ahead, Not Back

2009-01-25T06:22:00.001-08:00

To be honest, I feel kinda dumb posting a "new low" since my all-time low was 162. It's tough not to look back at my previous success and then not get frustrated because of how far I've slipped. However, that's kinda what happens when you don't give a crap for a year.

So, all that being said, I hit a new low today: 203.2.

Yesterday, I consumed about 1,700 calories (give or take a few...I can't remember everything I had, but all the foods I had (minus a drink) were good calories. I should be consuming closer to 1,500. So I'm getting back on track.

Muuuch Better

2009-01-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

Can't write long, but I wanted to report that today was a much better day. Smart decisions, healthy foods, and lots of activity with packing.

No More Excuses

2009-01-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I've been giving myself an out. I'm allowing myself to think "I'm not going to count calories, but I'll just eat a little better." That's not working for me. By not holding myself accountable to...well, myself...I'm allowing bad behavior. Yesterday, I rationalized everything I ate. Here's some insight on my thought patterns:

Breakfast
What I ate: bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch for breakfast.
How I justified it: "This has about as many calories as a bowl of Fiber One or Wheat Chex. And it tastes sooo much better."

Lunch
What I ate: Chef Boyardee Ravioli
How I justified it: "I won't eat very much. Besides, nothing beats the taste of canned ravioli. Mmmm. Canned ravioli."

Dinner
What I ate: pizza and breadsticks
How I justified it: "Man, today sucked. I'm stressed, I have no time to make dinner, and I don't even want what we have available. I'll just have a couple pieces of pizza and a breadstick."

Late-Nite Snack:
What I ate: apples with homemade caramel sauce
How I justified it: "Dude, it's apples. Apples are good for you."

Yyyyeah. I can see how justification only makes my bad decisions worse. Argh.

So today isn't over yet. I just realized I haven't had anything to eat. Bad, bad, BAD! I know. So I'm going to get myself half a half-sandwich - turkey on whole wheat, hold the mayo - and an apple. Yeah. That actually sounds really good. Then I'm going to go grocery shopping and get more fruits and veggies as well as foods that are easy to make. (We've got to factor in convenience since, with the move less than a week away, practically everything is packed away.)

I'm so tired of excusing my bad behavior. It's definitely going to be much better once we get out to Denver, I'm working a regular job, have access to a gym both at work and in our community, and my insanely hectic life is somewhat tamed by a schedule.